79 x 59 cm, Öl auf Holz, 2023
“Hast du keine Eier in der Hose 1 and 2 (self-portrait)” are based on one of many experiences I have had throughout my life with men who were confused about which box to put me in. This time I dealt with a drunken group of men, one of whom threw me down an escalator, pushed me around and got increasingly more upset about me not responding to his provocations and getting into the fight. I was just on my way home, trying to get away from him but he wouldn’t let me go, saying; “Don’t you have any balls in your pants?” He was too drunk to hear my reply “No I do not, don’t you get it?”
Where is the moment in which one has to out oneself in such a situation? Would it help or would it make it worse? What would it even mean? Am I not certain enough of my identity to name it or am I afraid of what would happen to me if they realized they were mistaken? How come I feel comfortable with my gender expression if this means I will end up in stupid chauvinist fights?